I am incredibly grateful and honored to be able to sit in Reverend angel Kyodo williams’ presence in Seattle. The weekend was full of insight, discomfort, beauty, pain, unraveling and transformation. I am sitting with so many new and unanswered questions, and I share them with you to hold the questions with me and to offer them up as a springboard for your own inquiry process. What questions arise when you read these questions? I have been more curious about questions than answers, even if my brain so desperately wants answers and certainty.
When am I in choice and when I am in conditioning?
What and how have I weaponized myself and how can I disarm?
How do I risk myself?
How do I rest when I need rest without settling into complicity and complacency? Is that even possible?
How do I simultaneously risk and rest?
How can we feel each other more?
How can I be whole and not perfect?
How do I leverage my privilege not to save others but in service to my own liberation? My privilege of place, voice and money?
How can I hold people where they are so we can all be liberated? How can I include as many as possible not as a burden but as an opportunity to win for the team of liberation for everyone?
What other purpose is there in being alive than to do this work?
How do I disarm?
How do I become more and more identified with the soft animal that is my body?
How do I name without attacking?
How and where can I be messy and awkward?
How can I give myself more permission to be messier and even more awkward?
How do I fortify myself?
How do I disengage from distraction and busy-ness, which pulls me from my own liberation?
How can I choose the identity of choosing liberation? And how can I choose this over and over?
How can I disarm the weaponizing of division, othering, shaming, blaming, hierarchy?
How do I attenuate my nervous system to discomfort?
How do I settle into not needing to know the answers?
How do I disarm the desire to punish?
How can I sit in a seat of love? How can I sit in a seat of love? How can I sit in a seat of love?
How can I sit in a seat of self-love?
How do I celebrate people of color who are not only surviving but thriving?
How does busy-ness and distraction keep me disembodied, unfeeling, numb and dissociate? How do I interrupt this?
How is my teaching rooted in white supremacy?
How is my practice rooted in white supremacy?
Where do I want to turn my lens?
How do I feel undone?
When do I leave liberation practices because I want comfort and distraction?
How do I use my practice for comfort instead of liberation?
How does my practice undo me?
How do I stay awake? How do I keep waking up?
How do I center whiteness in a good way? To undo it?
What is the next step?
What instructions do I hear?
How do I know when I have healed enough to take the next step?
What have I inherited? What is inherent to me?
What questions or musings or insights or inquiries arise as you read these questions?
“Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”
-Rainer Maria Rilke